What would happen if Steve Jobs was interviewed not in San Mateo but in Moscow?

By Alexander Molotnikov

www.forbes.ru

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious.

Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

          Recently Apple Chief Executive Officer Steve Jobs was interviewed during the investigation of the case involving the iPhone 4 prototype. Stephen Wagstaffe, Chief Deputy District Attorney for San Mateo County, California, told that police are nearly finished with their investigation.

          In many states of the world questioning of a businessman by police means nothing more than just a questioning. Everyone does his job, and police try to catch swindlers and other criminals. However, in some countries any contact of a businessman with representatives of law-enforcement agencies often means much more and can lead to unexpected consequences. What could be in store for the distinguished Mr. Jobs, if criminal legislation of the USA would be unfriendly to businessmen, and “creative” interpretation of laws would exist among policemen?

          So, let’s start.

          Week 1. Several days after questioning of Steven Jobs the police visited Apple’s headquarters and within the bounds of the criminal case carried out seizure of technical documentation concerning development of iPhone 4 and at the same time of prototypes of iPhone 5 and 6. The police also was interested in financial documentation of Apple. The police official said that this action was carried out in strict accordance with the law in order to ensure fast and impartial investigation. Chief Deputy District Attorney for San Mateo County told that police are nearly finished with their investigation.

          Week 2. According to unnamed source at the police department of the state, during inspection of documents there appeared some questions about financial and economic activity of Apple. Apple’s spokesman referred to a lack of official information from law enforcement agencies and declined to comment upon this news. 

          Week 3. Contradictory information is coming from the City of San Diego. Visitors of the coffee house Starbucks on Market Street told that Steve Jobs had been detained by SWAT. Judging by video reels which immediately appeared in YouTube in the operation were involved not less than eight police cars and two helicopters. Several bystanders were slightly injured. However, the police official declared that he knows nothing about detention of Mr. Jobs.

          Several hours later press office of the police department had spread official information that Mr. Jobs was brought to police because he repeatedly failed to appear for questioning to investigator. Few days before Mr. Jobs had been summoned to be interrogated. However, he did not come, but representatives of law enforcement agencies consider that Mr. Jobs had received summons.

          Next day a sitting of a court was held in order to define a measure of restriction concerning Mr. Jobs. Procedural status of Mr. Jobs has been changed and now he is suspected of having committed a number of economic crimes. It turned out that the suspect not only had ignored summons of investigator but also was moving to the Mexican border in order to escape from the police when it decided to detain him. Being at large the suspect may continue his criminal activity in order to conceal evidences and pressure witnesses.

          Week 4. The essence of crimes probably committed by the CEO of Apple is not fully clear for the public. Nevertheless, Apple’s stock price began to go down rapidly. Lawyers of the suspect had applied for bail. As a result, taking into account all circumstances of the case, a court decided to replace detention by bail. Mr. Jobs has been released from the police custody on 5 billion dollars bail in accordance with amount of his fortune. The court refused to accept Apple’s stock because their price has fallen.

          According to an official representative of the police, a charge against Mr. Jobs is brought at last. Firstly, he is accused of illegal enterprise. It was evinced by having committed a sham transaction of giving iPhone 4 as gift for President of Russia prior to the start of official sales. Secondly, he is accused of hampering of competition, as evidenced by the impossibility to use flash technology in iPhone. Thirdly, Mr. Jobs is charged with legalization of funds acquired as a result of having committed these crimes.

          Week 5. Jobs lawyers said their client had been taken away from the State Prison by members of the investigating authorities in an unknown direction. There is unconfirmed information that Steve Jobs is in City of Anchorage now. According to some reports he was taken to a local jail in order to carry out investigative actions within the bounds of a criminal case. According to unnamed source in the police, several top managers of Apple will be summoned for questioning.

          Microsoft Corporation has sent an official proposal to buy Apple’s stock. Members of the Board of Directors of Apple, Inc. are going to take a decision on the essence of the proposal soon.

          Week 6. At the meeting of the Board of Directors of Apple there were read out recommendations of Steve Jobs to vote for company takeover by Microsoft. 

          One year later. Microsoft has completed the friendly takeover of Apple and launched rebranding of former Apple's production by replacing the first letter “i” on “Mi”.  

          Steve Jobs was released from prison on recognizance not to leave. Soon after that all criminal cases against him were stopped due to absence of a criminal event. Afterwards the former CEO of Apple emigrated from the USA to Russia where he harshly criticized law enforcement agencies of the USA. Also he declared about extremely low level of investment climate in the USA, about winding up of all his business projects in this country and his intention to take active part in development of the innograd in Skolkovo.

          Comments by Vladislav Gaganov

 

          This great article reflects very accurately the realities of modern Russia and carries them to another location – the USA. The effect of this transfer is shocking because nobody being of sound mind and memory can imagine that such a situation could happen in America. The easier it will be to a reader (both for Russian and foreign one) to understand that the situation in Russia is very far from normal.